God does not play favorites.

I was wondering... why was Moses punished so severely for his sin of unbelief? Moses was so faithful, so powerful, so humble and so...chosen. There was no one on earth who knew God and spoke to God like Moses did. And yet because of the disobedience and sin chronicled in Exodus 20, he loses that blessing of the land overflowing with milk and honey.

I thought less, however, of the Israelite community's punishment. Yeah, that's what you get when you don't have faith in God's spoken Word! Go wander in the desert! Yet... when it came to Moses facing the same consequence, I wondered that God was not more lenient. I thought, Moses has so much favor, he's been so faithful, he's so humble, doesn't he deserve... more clemency? But that's just the point... God has no favorites. He is above all of the ways of man, and acts with justice and love in harmony. Moses did not receive special treatment, so that the Israelites wouldn't stumble (further) in seeing God work that way; and truthfully enough, God doesn't favor one over another because the one worked more faithfully. To express that would be an injustice and misrepresentation of God's character and His unfailing, unconditional love.

A great thing is that Moses did not stumble either. In humility, he knew that he was nothing before God anyway... He must have grieved over his exclusion from that blessing... but the Bible says nothing of bitterness towards God. Incidentally, this man had something that I believe surpassed the material blessings to begin with: his unrivaled, unshakable, intimate relationship with his God.

oh God, to know You and Your ways more!

A great thing to realize is that we cannot neither change a single moment of the past, nor guarantee a single day of the future, and that all we have to offer God is surrender of the very present moment. Many doubts and distractions begin with the thoughts: I did this, I cannot worship now; or, I can't possibly keep this up forever, who am I trying to fool? But God expects us to resolve neither past nor future; He dealt with one on the cross, and He holds the other in His hands. All we do is worship, now; obey, now; love, now. It is the simplest, yet many times the hardest thing to do.

God, help me.

"Just Because"

Lord, help me to not to anything "just because."

I have inundated myself in such a routine of things to do for You... that I no longer truly seek Your face. When I get down to pray, is it to meet with the living God, to intercede for His people and to spend time in worship that pleases His heart? Or is it just to assure myself that I'd gotten in the "prayer time for today"? I fear the answer to that question, yet I know it quite well. God, break me out of every routine for the sake of self-righteousness, for the sake of self-assurance, for the sake of... routine. Let every moment be a moment that I am seeking Your face with all of my heart, for You said that if we should seek Your face with all our hearts, we will find You. Lord, help me; replace this heart of stone with one of flesh; a heart that will beat and yearn for Your touch, Your comfort, Your presence, Your indwelling. I cannot bring it about of my own will, no matter how hard I try. I ask in the name of Jesus, knowing that this is His desire as well as mine, that you would come and fill my heart with love for You and Your people, that not another moment would be wasted in routine.

Thank You Lord, and I love You, hoping to love You more.

I remember watching a program on the Military Channel about WWII. They mentioned something about many of the Japanese soldiers being very undisciplined and disobedient. This was rather unexpected, because one might readily think of the staunchly resistant fighting force that insisted on fighting for their country, even in the face of catastrophic death tolls and industrial incapability. This, in fact, was the very cause of the disobedience. The firm adherence to the idea of the ultimate sacrifice for their country was that motivation for much of the disobedience of the soldiers. Many of them would be resentful at, or even outright disobey orders given by commanders that didn't seem patriotic enough. Driven by an adamant desire to give all for his homeland, many a soldier did what he thought was the most patriotic, the most courageous, and the most glorious thing to do. Commanders would have found themselves in dire straits for soldiers who would actually obey orders and be patient enough to partake in a move that might have mounted to an effective counterattack. While this alone cannot account totally for Japan's defeat, it certainly didn't help the nation as it struggled alone against the Allies. And it also teaches us a lesson, as well.

Isn't it easy to get frustrated and impatient when God Himself is doing something we didn't exactly have in mind? We read books and hear testimonies about great moves of God in places everywhere, and we wonder why we can't do things like that. No, we do more than wonder; we get impatient and resentful. But if only we could see through the eyes of the Commander who has seen every battlefield, spiritual and physical, since the dawn of time and before! If onyl we could trust in His battleplan.Waiting is long, and sanctification is grueling, while we ask questions like ""God, don't You want people to be saved?? Why are we wasting time??" But time is nothing to God, and He will act in His perfect time! Oh, but that we could truly trust in His plan, how much time we would save, not having to think of our own crazy shenanigans to save the day. God, give us patience and understanding to wait on You!

I am a wretched sinner who snubs his nose at anyone in whom he can find fault, and I stand before a holy and perfect God who looks on the lowly with compassion that surpasses understanding. What an irony; the one who is in a pit can't find an ounce of compassion in himself for those in similar situations, yet the God who cannot look upon sin would give it all to see us made free and whole. What else could possibly be worth pursuing? Who else could possibly be worth serving? God, take away this heart of stone, this misguided and confused life and replace it with a passion of a love for You and for Your people.

UGH. How many times have I sat/knelt/stood before God one night just out of habit; because I thought it was just the thing a Christian ought to do-- pray every day? How many times have I interceded just to avoid feeling guilty of negligence and callousness? How can I complain of dry eyes and an untouched spirit if prayer is, to me, just a chore, and not the time spent seeking after a God who holds the keys and mysteries of the world in His hands? If I were to kneel before God every morning and night and TRULY desire and hunger and thirst and breathe after His Holy Spirit, is there even the slightest chance that He would leave me dry for long? Oh, but that I would believe that God is a God who hears every word, knows every thought, and yearns to give the answers, deliver the bound, and save the lost! --headkeyboard-- God help me!

you will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.
-- Jeremiah 29:13