I preached last Sunday about the inner life. I mentioned how it takes devotion to maintain that connection with God... and only now am I realizing the full weight of such commitment. There's a poem that goes

Two natures beat within my breast.
One is cursed, and one is blessed.
One I love, and one I hate,
but the one I feed will dominate."

Every day is a struggle to try to feed the blessed... yet I keep feeding the cursed one at the same time! All that's happening is that the two are receiving more strength to "beat within my breast." Oh, that the flesh would die! But it has such a nasty tenacity to survive. It clutches at every opportunity for food, manipulates both reason and will to be pandered to. Truly, truly only God can destroy this flesh. Only the resurrection power of Christ can change the heart. No amount of anything will do... I need God's grace just to deny myself every day... to pick up the cross and follow Him.

God...for grace. According to your love, Lord... grant me grace.